Its Easter, So Get Your Highheels On And Dance!

Well, it's Easter in all the white countries around this time, so guess what! That's right, it's time to discuss the history of every (white persons) ones most lovable character, the Easter Bunny! As you might know Pi equals 3.14, what you mightn't know is the Easter Bunny's history which I assure you is quite interesting.

Because whilst most people think the Easter Bunny is an innocent little rabbit who loves children, they are quite wrong. You see the Easter Bunny was not born from a hare and a toad breeding ,which is the common belief, but from a twisted circle of drug dealing, murder and child slavery. From in-depth interviews with the criminals whom created it and journals left by the Cult of The Bleeding Bunny, I bring you the tale of the Easter Bunny!

[Springfield State Penitentiary, Room 159]

"I am guided into the observation room by a burly prison guard and instructs me to take a seat, opposite me there is a man dressed in orange overalls sitting with his hands cuffed together. The man is David McCraughin, the kingpin of the Easter Bunny Drug ring"

Drugs, That was our product. Drug trafficking, That was our job. We were a drug ring operating world wide, anywhere there was demand. Did you ever see that news bulletin about the politician caught with coke, that was our product he had. Paris Hilton, one of buyers, Britney Spears, couldn't live without it. We were everywhere, no city was safe. We making more money than we knew how to spend, I remember buying FIVE Lambo's and an Olympic sized pool.

[He laughs loudly, his restraints rattling]

"You weren't worried about the police cracking down on your operations?"

[He stops laughing and wipes his eyes]

Hell No. We had nearly all the pollys under our collective thumb, I could have had them all line up and dance the Can-Can.

"Then why did you resort to the Bunny plan?"

[The smile fades from his lips]

It was the new police commissioner, the old one dieing from a heart attack or something. I didn't really care, what I did care about was getting him over to our side, like the old commissioner. This new guy didn't like us to say the least, it was by sheer luck that the guy I hired to deliver the bribe never saw my face. That old bastard arrested our guy and made him talk, we lost another three people from that. Those people talked and more people got arrested. Then the bribed pollys began anonymously giving out names to get rid of anyone who could talk about them. It was a disaster, we lost so many members, so many clientele. I was losing money faster than banker in a Lebanese whore house. Not only that, the police were uprooting all our previous delivery and export methods. We needed a new system, and fast to, my mortgage payments were starting to conflict with my wife's many, many needs.

"And that's when you thought of the Bunny plan?"

[He smiles broadly at me]

Yes, that's when I thought of the Bunny plan.